In Which I Judge My Own Writing XI

It is time to judge the book I wrote when I was ten again! This book is called Spy Academy and the Secret of Ethelbertha Harrison, so as you can tell it takes place at a spy school. In this supposed to be weekly feature  I recap a chapter and provide you with sarcastic commentary.

Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV Part V | Part VI | Part VII | Part VIII | Part IX | Part X


Since last post was getting a bit long I decided to split the chapter up. What’s most important from last time is that they decide to open the mysterious locked door that night. Not everyone is coming along: Patricia doesn’t want to break the rules since she’s a team leader (so is Zoey but she doesn’t care) and Bryan is still recovering of course.

So anyway, the others all sneak out of their rooms to the eight floor where the door is. Zoey uses the bobby pin from Door to open it and they find themselves in a small round room, which disappoints them. Reane ponders that there might be a secret room (is this my attempt of foreshadowing?), but since they have a lot of classes the next morning and have to get up early, they decide to come back after class. It makes me wonder what the point of going at night was.

If you’ve read the last part you may remember that there’s no hospital wing or ER Room or anything like that. Nor are there any doctors at the school, even though they’re training for spies. Now Zoey and Laila are both suffering from a headache and decide to get some aspirin. You know where they’re going to get that? At the kitchen. That makes no sense, but okay. This adds nothing to the plot, but I like to share everything that makes no sense with you guys.

Zoey, Laila and Ricky’s classes are done with classes before the others so they decided to investigate while the others have class. Zoey says ‘maybe we’ll find a diary or something’ – I doubt I knew what foreshadowing was at that age but look, my second attempt in one chapter. In the end Laila finds a portrait of a woman who Zoey recognises her from the statue in the fountain in the school’s garden (second day of school: Zoey, Laila and Bryan explored the school and Zoey thought the statue looked familiar – though she doesn’t remember it’s the woman she dreamed about in the prologue).

At dinner they decide to go back when they’re done eating. Reane leaves them to go the library and will meet up with them later. The friends think she’s going to look for a book about the history of the school, because Reane loves history. But as Zoey mysteriously points out: ”I don’t think she’s just looking for it because she loves history’. Oooh more foreshadowing.

Zoey and Patricia investigate the wardrobe in the secret room. Who knows why Ethelbertha had a wardrobe (and a portrait of herself?) in that room, when she had a dorm room at the school. It’s full with old clothes. I think I imagined them as dresses from the early 20th century, even though Ethelbertha was at the school in the 1990’s #logic

In the pocket of one of the dresses Zoey finds a medallion, in which there’s a picture of a small girl and the name ‘Ethelbertha’ scratched in it. I’m starting to think that Ethelbertha was a bit in love with herself.

There are some knocks on the door – Reane. She exclaims ‘you’ll never believe this!’, to which Heyligers, who appears behind her out of nowhere responds ‘Indeed I won’t believe this! Can’t you read? It says ‘forbidden!’.

Okay so a bunch of nonsense happens that is completely irrelevant to the plot and the characters’ development – so let’s skip that. They’ve all gotten individual punishments, and Reane’s is to clean Heyligers’ office, which she’s investigating naturally. Because she’s a spy (I almost wrote spie oh my god). She just takes Heyligers’ tarot cards with her (it’s not like she’ll miss them right) and makes copies of letters from Heyligers’ friend André and Heyligers’ diary (um rude)

When Reane’s back in her room she starts to read all the letters, but none of them are important and really should’ve been left out. 10-year old me needs to learn what editing is.

Okay so remember when Heyligers tried to steal Door’s chicken? Apparently that wasn’t just my attempt at comedy. In one of the letter André talks about a ritual that he thinks they should perform – Christmas Day, midnight. And this is what she’ll need:

  • 1 chicken
  • 9 onions around the chicken
  • Lemonade to cover the chicken in
  • Orange juice for in the chicken

THAT IS NOT A RITUAL, THAT IS A RECIPE. WHAT KIND OF RITUAL IS THIS. DO THEY WANT TO SUMMON A CHICKEN.

Okay so apparently it was a ritual to summon ghosts. What.

The letter:

It worked! The ritual worked! The ghosts spoke to us. At least with mom, dad, uncle Joop, aunt Kelly and me. I hope they spoke with you as well, Lil. If not, let me know, then I’ll tell you what they said in the next letter. Happy New Years by the way!

Ah, summoning ghosts over dinner (because that’s not the ingredients for a ritual okay), what a great way to bond with your family.

In his last letter André writes that according to ‘the cards’ the room will be opened that same month (aay that happened), but he warns her to not go in there herself, because according to the headmistress it’s ‘dangerous’. What. I really wonder why it’s dangerous? How fun I, the author, have no clue either.

The chapter ends with the entire squad (including Bryan who refused to stay behind) in Reane and Patricia’s room, talking about their newest discovery. But then they hear footsteps…

And that’s it for this week. Hopefully I’ll be back next week so I can actually call this a weekly feature haha.

Have you ever tried to summon a chicken? Be honest guys. Share your rituals. 

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