In Which I Judge My Own Writing Part XIV

It is time to judge the book I wrote when I was ten again! This book is called Spy Academy and the Secret of Ethelbertha Harrison, so as you can tell it takes place at a spy school. In this weekly feature I recap a chapter and provide you with sarcastic commentary. 

Part I | Part II | Part IIIPart IV Part VPart VIPart VIIPart VIIIPart IX | Part X | Part XI | Part XII | Part XIII


Last chapter was completely pointless, but chapter 11 is called ‘the secret room’ so surely some important stuff happens in this one right? Let’s dive in.

They’re all in the mysterious no longer locked room, pondering about what Door said about Ethelbertha being locked inside a secret room in a secret room, when Laila accidentally finds one of said secret rooms by pulling a torch on the the wall (don’t ask me why there is a torch in a modern 21st century school). There was now a hallway and a stairway leading up. Pictures of Ethelbertha are hanging on the walls. Why. That makes no sense. I should really rename the book to ‘Spy Academy And It Makes No Sense’. Upstairs they find themselves in a dome entirely made out of glass (HOW HAS NO ONE NOTICED THIS FROM THE OUTSIDE THIS ISN’T HOGWARTS)

After an hour of ~investigating~ Tim finds a diary. Zoey decides to read it later that evening after dinner (Tim can’t read the handwriting). They also find more pictures, in which they also see Heyligers. Reane just happens to carry the yearbook she had found in the library with her (doesn’t she have to return that at some point soon) and it turns out that Heyligers and Ethelbertha were classmates. They also deduce that they were friends.

Once Zoey is back in her room she starts reading the diary. Turns out that Ethelbertha and Heyligers were in the same team along with a guy named Chris LeBlanc (nah I didn’t come up with that last name because of Friends *cough cough*). On her second day of school Ethelbertha went to explore the school and found the same locked door as our protagonists, which she immediately opened because she is prepared and always carries a bobby pin with her, unlike some ‘spies’. She claimed the room as hers, because #logic. She put up her dresses there, because she’ll ‘know they’ll be safe there’. What. Why wouldn’t they be safe in your room. She writes about how some other students can’t stand her because she’s ‘always wearing dresses’?? ‘But it’s who I am. And I won’t change for them!’

After a week Ethelbertha has really claimed the room as her own, stating that it’s like she’s living there. She’s been busy exploring it, because she feels ‘as if there’s more to it’

A few weeks later she and Heyligers have found a secret room (the same one the protagonists just found). But after that entry Zoey was done and fell asleep.

Like true spies the friends decide to try and find Chris LeBlanc’s phone number and call him. They are very good at being spies of course, and they go to Heyligers’ office to take a look in her planner. Sure enough, his number is in there. So Zoey starts calling and a woman, with the same last name as Chris, picks up.

”Hello, this is Zoey Lamour. I go to Spy Academy and I have a few questions for your husband.”

Zoey your parents aren’t even allowed to know where you actually go to school what do you not understand about ‘secrecy’. Once Zoey tells Chris that she’s investigating Ethelbertha’s disappearance (girl you need to work on your keeping things secret skills what if he’s got something to do with it) and he immediately freaks out and asks if she spoke to the police. Apparently they had him down as a suspect, at least years ago. Suspicious. (spoiler: he had nothing to do with it, but I feel like that’s a lost opportunity). Zoey puts Bryan on the phone to tell Chris about his kidnappers and he describes them as ‘tall, thin, black hair and brown-green eyes’ and ‘short, fat, bald and grey eyes’. This is enough for Chris to deduce that the tall one is most likely Edmund Sheffield, the archenemy of Ethelbertha

Did you dream of having your own secret room as a kid? I feel like everyone did, but maybe I’m wrong. Also who am I kidding don’t we all still dream about having one? Preferably in a big library. Though it would be annoying if you just want to grab a book to read and BAM. You’re on the other side in your secret room. 

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