The Discussing Hufflepuff: Am I Overreacting?

Something that I often think when I see something sexist, racist, homophobic, etc. is: ‘am I overreacting?’ This has lead to me not pointing these things out, not tweeting about it, not writing blog posts about it… Nothing.

Last week I wrote a post on The Feministas about sexist Dutch magazines, and honestly? Before I wrote it I wasn’t sure if I should. Was I making a big deal out of nothing? Was the way women are being portrayed in these men magazines the same way women’s magazines portray men? Even though my female friend was just as outraged, even though I discussed it with the other members of The Feministas first, I still felt like maybe I was overreacting.

Now this doesn’t always happen. I know my reaction as to what happened to Arden Cho on Teen Wolf wasn’t an overreaction. I know that when The Real O’Neals made a biphobic ‘joke’ I was right to be angry and hurt (if you missed it, the protagonist Kenny was afraid that what his new boyfriend was going to tell him would be bad news. He was like ‘what if it’s money problems or webbed toes. Or worse! Bisexual!’)

So why is it that often or not I feel like I shouldn’t say anything? Is it because I grew up in such a sexist, racist, homophobic etc. society? My mom always taught me to speak my mind and is very outspoken about these matters as well. Did our society, that is constantly trying to silence minorties, get to me anyway?

Or is it because of my PTSD, because I’m terrified people will get mad and yell at me?

I don’t know why, but it’s something that’s been bothering me for a while. There are so many things that I’ve wanted to discuss before, but I was scared. Scared that I was wrong, scared that I was overreacting. Scared that people would attack me.

But if I felt hurt, violated and disgusted at seeing the way women are being portrayed as objects, sexual fantasies and entertainment for men, shouldn’t that count? Shouldn’t it count that my friend, another woman, also felt this way? Shouldn’t it count that my fellow Feministas were also disgusted after hearing about it? Why did I still worry about it?

Do you ever feel the same way? Let me know in the comments.

21 thoughts on “The Discussing Hufflepuff: Am I Overreacting?

  1. i cant phrase my words properly and make it as meaningful as your well written post but essentially what i want to say is yes i do feel the same way.

  2. I get how you feel. Every time someone makes sexist, homophobic, or racist joke I get angry, but I never say anything about it. But if looks could kill…

  3. I totally sometimes worry that I’m overreacting…or just like being that person who’s always bringing things down. And then I get MAD for thinking like that. Like why should we not stand up for what’s right and speak up about it?!? I mean, the fear and pushback is always awful, especially for those of us with anxiety issues. But I think the less tolerant we get for people being sexist or homophobic or racist, the more (hopefully) it will stop?

    • Yes exactly! Like we’re the party pooper, but that’s ridiculous because in reality these bigots are the party poopers?? Like wow sorry that you had fun looking down on minorities and that we tried to put a stop to that.
      Yes that’s very true! That’s why I hate this stupid fear and really try to overcome it :)

  4. YES PLEASE. Equality for all. <3 I always think that I'm overreacting. But you know what? That's okay, because I'm speaking up for what I believe is right, and I'm using my voice. I think that the reason we worry about overreacting is that it'll cause this huge problem and a fight will break out and then feelings will be hurt. Or you think people will see you as "problematic" or whatever.

    Can I please just rant about equality for a second though? First of all, feminism has become SO TWISTED these days and I physically cannot. And racism is being treated as a joke and/or not taken seriously enough, and it HURTS, especially because I'm a POC (Asian). And holy cow, I personally believe that you cannot call love "wrong", no matter what gender people love. IT'S LOVE PEOPLE, AND JUST TAKE IT AS IT IS.

    Agh I'm so sorry about my rant. *disappears*

    • Never apologise for ranting!! Things are getting SO frustrating. Especially on the internet, because bigots feel like they can just say EVERYTHING. And oh my god they’re always going on about ‘social justice warriors’ and acting like that’s an insult but? I am PROUD to be a ‘social justice warrior’ What is bad about fighting for social justice, for equality, for human rights??? Like wow sorry that ‘minorities’ (honestly really hate that word because we’re not minorities, just treated that way ugh) want the same rights as you do!! Wow so sorry.

  5. This is a really interesting discussion! Personally, I keep quiet about this stuff generally because it just a huge trigger for my mental illness (like, it’s even hard commenting on this, for example) — but that is my personal decision (and I prefer listening, not speaking.) I say: say what you want. Sometimes I read things and think they’re overreacting, but honestly? It’s not MY place to think that. We are all multi-faceted human beings; people will be offended by things and others will not. People have a right not to be offended, and people have the right to BE offended.

    If you think you might be overrating, my advice is leave it for a few days, then come back to it and see how you feel. :)

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  8. You are not overreacting at all. The problem is most of the world under-reacts to these things because they either don’t affect them or they don’t care. I have a similar fear of being yelled at. I don’t know if it rises to the level of PTSD, but it does terrify me and make me shut down/hide. I find it far easier to be vocal and expressive online, and I’ve sort of learned how to deal with ad hominem attacks, but I’m still afraid of vitriolic trolls. It’s because there are people like you calling it out despite their trepidation that any progress is being made at all ♥

  9. Yes!! I often feel like I’m making a big deal out of nothing, but then I remember that sometimes it’s seemingly small things that can have a huge impact – especially when rude or offensive things become normalized in our society. I hope that we can all find the courage to speak out about things we find important, no matter how difficult! :)

    • Very true! Those small things are at the root of the problems, so we should definitely not feel like we’re overreacting, though it can be difficult! Me too! :)

  10. Hey Michelle! I totally agree. I have those moments a lot. If no one else is noticing it or worried about it, I must be wrong… right? We both should work on this, because of course, our opinions are always valid. :-)

    • I’m glad I’m not alone in this! Yes exactly, which is ridiculous of course but if you don’t see/hear anyone sharing your thoughts it really feels like you’re wrong… We should and that’s very true!

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