RECIPE: How To Make Your Own Writer

Do you have a million ideas but no time or motivation to write them? Are you tired of writing your novels yourself? Is NaNo getting to you? Then I have THE recipe for you! Before you know it you’ll have made your own writer who can take over your work for you

I know it sounds to good to be true, but I guarantee you that it works*

* And if it doesn’t you clearly did something wrong while following the recipe so don’t blame me

I can hear you scream: WHAT IS THIS RECIPE MICHELLE? SHARE IT WITH US ALREADY

No worries, here it is:

HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN WRITER: A RECIPE BY MICHELLE

NECESSITIES:
πŸ’›Β 1 bowl
πŸ’›Β 1 liter of tears of frustration (TEARS OF SADNESS DO NOT WORK!!)
πŸ’›Β All of your ideas
πŸ’›Β 1 notebook
πŸ’›Β 2 pens
πŸ’›Β Your favourite song to write to
πŸ’›Β Something comfortable to wear while writing, like a onesie
πŸ’›Β A blanket
πŸ’›Β Tea, coffee or another writing beverage

DIRECTIONS:

πŸ’›Β First change into something comfortable to wear while writing, like a onesie

Yes that’s me

πŸ’›Β Put on your favourite song to write to while making your writer*. This is ESSENTIAL if you listen to music while writing/use it to inspire you. Your writer will have less inspiration if you forgot to put on that music. Don’t worry if you never listen to music while writing – in that case your writer won’t need it either
πŸ’›Β Preheat the oven uhhhh** 200 degrees (CELSIUS!! VERY IMPORTANT NOT FAHRENHEIT YOU AMERICANS)
πŸ’›Β Put all of your ideas in the bowl – you can do this by writing them down in the notebook, on separate pieces of paper or by sending your thoughts in the bowl***
πŸ’›Β Add the notebook if you haven’t yet and also the pens
πŸ’›Β Add tea, coffee or an other writing beverage and stir 10 times

* Bonus! Dance like me in the gif while making your writer for Extra Funβ„’
** I’m not making this up as I go along?? Where did you get this idea

*** 10/10 would recommend this method takes up the least ammount of energy, but it won’t work for everyone so if your writer doesn’t come out right it’s not my fault okayΒ 

πŸ’›Β Now it’s time to add those tears of frustration. Don’t have any yet, let alone 1 liter? That’s okay! Just think about how far behind you are on NaNo, how many ideas you haven’t been able to work on yet, all those plot holes… I’m sure you have a million writer problems to cry over!

πŸ’›Β Stir for one minute, make sure those tears mix with your ideas nicely
πŸ’›Β Now put all that in the oven for fifteen minutes
πŸ’›Β Get comfy while you wait – time to use that blanket! Don’t use that free time to write – no don’t take that work away from your soon to be baked writer! Go sleep, watch a movie – do whatever writing got in the way of
πŸ’›Β Let your writer get accustomed to their new surroundings for a bit when you take them out of the oven

The ammount of time this takes is different for every writer, but make sure you don’t put them to work before they’re entirely accustomed. It won’t take longer than a few hours – if it does, you did something wrong and you can’t hold me accountable
πŸ’›Β Don’t forget to sprinkle that imagination on top of your writer!

Now set that writer to work and enjoy all that free time!

Do you have any other great writing recipes for me? Have you tried my recipe? Did it work out? How’s NaNo, or writing in general going? Let me know in the comments!

19 thoughts on “RECIPE: How To Make Your Own Writer

  1. HAHAHHA Michelle you genius. I wish I could actually make someone do the writing for me because it is SUCH a pain. (But everyone sucks at helping me thinks of ideas so I can’t expect much from them. πŸ˜‚) AND YES I LOVE ONESIES THEY ARE THE BEST THING TO EVER BE INVENTED AAAGAHAG

    • Thank you May! 😊 Ahhh same but at the same time I don’t want to because I love writing? But I also hate it? It’s a love-hate relationship lmao. YES I’M WEARING ONE RIGHT NOW THEY’RE SO COMFY AND WARM I WANT TO LIVE IN THEM

    • Hmm I think you should call Apple about that, don’t want you to ruin your MacBook for the sake of this recipe

      Thank you! I hadn’t even realised that I had used that many until you pointed it out haha

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