Why I Often Don’t Write Even Though I Love Writing // A Cry For H e l p

With Camp NaNo having started I definitely feel the pressure to write. Of course I put that pressure on myself, because I know that something like Camp NaNo really helps motivate me, but lately the thought of writing has stressed me out. I’ve struggled with this for quite some time now (can I go back to being my ten year old self who didn’t think things through at all and just wrote and wrote and wrote even though it was absolute garbage) but lately I’ve been thinking a lot more about it.

With school being over, I have time to write. I evenΒ want to write. But do I write?? No.

There are obvious reasons why I don’t write: most of the time I’m too busy or tired. But there is plenty of time that I could spend on writing yet I don’t. And why?

Honestly, as strange as it sounds I recently figured out that I think I might be scared? I have NO IDEA why. I don’t know if it’s my anxiety, my insecurities or something else. But it’s why I often don’t write. I don’t feel like writing and when IΒ do think of writing it almost feels like I’m having a panic attack, which is super odd and makes no sense because I love writing and often it’s a stress reliever?? It wasn’t always this bad, but now?? I’m very confused and annoyed. There’s really no point to this post beside me letting this out and hopefully finding a few people who go through this as well?? Because help??

I do think it probably has something to do with my anxiety and insecurities, but I have no idea WHY. Like if they could tell me what’s going on that’d be great thanks

I AM going to try and write. Not just because it’s Camp NaNo, but because I really want to write and finish my unnamed contemporary. But it feels like I’ll keep this feeling, at least for now, and uh I’d like to not feel like I’m about to have a panic attack over something I love to do thanks

Does someone wants to come with me and beat up my anxiety. We could make it a group outing and just beat up everyone’s anxiety it will be fun

Can you relate to this???? Or do you relate to not writing a lot in general despite loving it? Let me know in the comments!

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42 thoughts on “Why I Often Don’t Write Even Though I Love Writing // A Cry For H e l p

  1. I think EVERY writer feels thisβ€”that pressure, that fear. And as hard as it is, the only way I’ve found to conquer it IS to write. Tricky, right? What helps for me is to let myself write a terribly flawed first draft with the knowledge that I have time to fix it later. Drafting it about writing the bones of the story; revising is about finding the soul.

    Good luck with Camp NaNo! <3

  2. I definitely relate so much to this! I want to write something like so bad?! But every time something just seems to come up? And even if it doesn’t I’m too lazy to actually get out of bed? I’m also a bit of a weird writer, I kinda want everything to be neat and without any crossings the first time I write it. I know that’s not going to happen so i feel discouraged and it’s just weird?! πŸ˜‚ Relatable post! xx β€οΈπŸ˜€

    • Ahhh I feel you! I pretty much always get a lot of inspiraton and motivation to write whenever I’m super busy with school like?? Can you not?? Ahh no that sucks. First drafts are never perfect – what helps me is reminding myself that NO ONE’S first draft is perfect, not even bestselling authors get everything right the first time. Also finding typos in published books. It shows that no one is perfect :)

  3. This is a super common problem – I feel you! One method I’ve trained myself to do is to just write and entire bit without reading it back. I just set a time period (usually 1-2 hrs but its fine if its shorter) and i try and write til then. After, i close my laptop and get up to do something totally different. Next time i go to write, i start fresh and don’t read what I wrote previously. My issue before use to be I’d just panic my scene sucked, work it over waaay to much and then id be out of motivation to write anything else. If I didn’t just commit to a quick draft (writing the entire thing through without going back and editing) I don’t think I ever would have written that much xD goodluck!

    • Thanks for the advice! I feel you, I always read a little bit back to remember what’s going on, but then I sometimes find stuff I need to edit and that can be so frustrating that I think of not writing at all. I try to ignore that though!

    • Ahh no sorry to hear that :( I started writing after I published this post and it did work out, but I haven’t written in a few days now and I’m feeling the panic again :/ (not that I wasn’t feeling it earlier this week, but once I got into that flow it was just easier but now ahhh) Hopefully we won’t feel like this anymore in the future!

  4. I relate to this 8000%! Thought it was just me! I love to write, I have time to write, I want to write – but I still don’t? I think I’m scared that whatever I write won’t be good enough but at this point that doesn’t even matter cos I just want to write SOMETHING!

    Good luck with camp Nano!

    • Ahhh I’m so glad I’m not the only one! I ended up writing last night after posting this and it went so well! Though I’m experiencing the same feelings now I’m still planning on forcing myself to write again :) Hopefully you’ll be able to write as well!

      Thank you! You too if you’re participating :)

      • That’s awesome Michelle! Even if you force yourself to, it’s something haha and I guess with time, you’ll feel like writing more :)

      • Yeah that’s true! After that it was a lot easier to start writing again, but then I didn’t have any time to write for a few days and now it’s a lot harder to get started again! Guess I found out that routine is important for me haha

      • I totally agree! I’ve found that ideas about what to write are best when they’re spontaneous but actually writing happens best with a schedule :P

  5. WHAT IS THIS I HAVE NEVER RELATED TO SOMETHING MORE???? Seriously, you’ve just put into words something I’ve been thinking for months and months. THANK YOU. Can we beat the anxiety together?? :)))

  6. Aww, I feel you! This happens to me, too, and I think it’s because I used to write absolutely free of expectations. I didn’t care about if it was plotless or horrible, I just wrote for pleasure only. Now I’ve got all these expectations on me (I don’t know why though, it’s me who’s giving myself all the expectations) and it makes writing so unappealing (even when I, like you said, actually WANT to write). I just feel like nothing will be good enough and it’s not about having fun anymore.

    Sorry that got so long…but best of luck with this and I hope all your writing troubles go away soon! ❀️

    • Omg yes I feel this so much!! I used to not think AT ALL and just write. Granted, if I look back now it wasn’t very good but still. I want that attitude back haha. We need to find a way to get rid of those expectations and just write for fun again :(

      No don’t apologise! ❀️ Thank you, I hope the same for you! ❀️

  7. I CAN SO RELATE TO THIS MICHELLE, I can be co-president of your anxious writers club haha. Really, I want to write, a lot, often, but I can’t. Before, when I was younger, I just wrote and wrote and didn’t care or overthink, and somehow now, I tend to put all of this crazy pressure on myself, I’m not sure why and…. it just makes me feel stressed out. Maybe having a writing group and try to motivate ourselves to write without overthinking could be great, haha. :)

    • AHHH MARIE I WISH YOU DIDN’T RELATE BECAUSE IT SUCKS. You can definitely be co-president :P Yes exactly! I didn’t think at all either. I just wrote for fun and I really miss that. We need to stop pressuring ourselves. Why don’t they teach us how to do that in school
      Oh yeah that might help!

      • I have no ideaaaaa I wish they could teach us how to be chill again. I don’t know how to be chill and just write and have fun anymore and ughhhhhhhh haha.

  8. Pingback: When Writing Becomes Stressful – Just Call Me Elm or Something

  9. This is basically me all the time about writing. I’ve been trying to convince myself to finish a novel I started for NaNo last year, but every time I think about writing, I feel weirdly panicked about it even though whenever I have forced myself to write in the past I have liked it. I love writing and being able to say I’m writing something and having things to write, but do I write? no. I don’t know why this is and wish I could be more helpful other than to scream “I CAN RELATE!!”

    • The fact that you can relate is already helpful!! I thought I was really weird because so many bloggers often talk about writing and finishing this project and that and I’m just here sitting like?? I’m still working on the same project as two years ago?? How do you people do it?? I do wish you didn’t relate though, because it SUCKS and I don’t want this for anyone! Hopefully we can overcome this :)

      • Indeed! I just hope someday I’ll be able to say I’m writing a novel and actually be writing it, not just thinking about writing it for the most part and then only occasionally writing every few months.

  10. Thanks for writing this post // I FEEL ALL OF THIS so much. For /years/ I have not written and it’s frustrating and saddening and I don’t know why. I think it’s a snowball effect of anxiety, low income and little time, and self-doubt.

    Since starting to blog two months ago, writing posts and reviews is the most I’ve done in years and it’s amazing and I’m pleased and hoping to churn some of this into writing my personal things (I have several started projects). I’ve attempted NANO before but never any of the camp stuff.

    Good luck with your current contemporary! I’m musing about doing writing/writer posts in August. I’m hoping this bookish community can also be a writer’s support community :D and this post is a fab way to stoke the fire (or to collectively beat back our anxiety BEGONE FOUL BEASTIES).

    • Ahhh I wish you didn’t feel this because it sucks. I’m so glad to hear that blogging is helping though, hopefully you’ll be able to work on your projects soon!! Camp is definitely easier than the regular NaNo. I’ve tried the regular one once and,, it wasn’t a success lol. At least for Camp you can set your own goals :)

      Thank you! Ohhh that’s exciting :) There are many writers in this community so you’ll definitely be able to find lots of support! Yes let’s fight back against our anxiety!

  11. This is literally my life, which is also literally writing. Time is a major factor as well as fighting mental shenanigans as well as worrying about being good enough. It’s why when I have the time and inclination I ALWAYS try to write, but I also always try to make time for writing because if I don’t schedule it, I don’t have it.

    • Ahhh I’m sorry to hear that :( I really want to try and write whenever I have the time as well, but it’s hard. I’ve tried scheduling it before but a lot of the time I just ignore it, so that doesn’t really work πŸ˜… Trying to work on that though! Let’s hope we’ll be able to overcome this!

  12. I’ll totally join in on giving our anxiety a good hauling. Honestly what you wrote is 100 % me. I want to write sooo bad, but somehow I just can’t, exactly because I think I’m scared too. I have to literally force myself to write because otherwise I’ll never get any writing done. In 2016 I wrote a poem about what I was kind of feeling, so in case you can relate I’ll leave a link for you :)
    https://ihaveabadsenseofhumor.com/2016/07/30/started-unfinished-restarted/
    At the moment I do feel like I’ve progressed a little bit and I’m trying to just do it, without thinking too much, but it’s damn hard. I hope you’re able to get over this bump on the road too <3

  13. Omg I feel you sooo much 😭 I love writing, but I rarely end up doing it, mainly because I feel like if I write I have to really commit and cannot just write a bit. Idk why but I feel like when I write I have to be fully invested and only write and write a lot :/ I really hope to someday incoporate writing in my daily life like I do with reading and writing! Good luck with Camp NaNo!!

    • Ahhh I feel you! Like I could probably open up my word doc a lot of times and just write a few sentences, but I always think ‘well I don’t have time/energy to write a lot’ If only we could get rid of this mindset :/

      Same here! Let’s hope we can overcome this :) Thank you!

  14. Pingback: The Weekly Hufflepuff #72 // Writing What Is That I Don’t Know It | The Writing Hufflepuff

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