With Camp NaNo having started I definitely feel the pressure to write. Of course I put that pressure on myself, because I know that something like Camp NaNo really helps motivate me, but lately the thought of writing has stressed me out. I’ve struggled with this for quite some time now (can I go back to being my ten year old self who didn’t think things through at all and just wrote and wrote and wrote even though it was absolute garbage) but lately I’ve been thinking a lot more about it.
With school being over, I have time to write. I even want to write. But do I write?? No.
There are obvious reasons why I don’t write: most of the time I’m too busy or tired. But there is plenty of time that I could spend on writing yet I don’t. And why?
Honestly, as strange as it sounds I recently figured out that I think I might be scared? I have NO IDEA why. I don’t know if it’s my anxiety, my insecurities or something else. But it’s why I often don’t write. I don’t feel like writing and when I do think of writing it almost feels like I’m having a panic attack, which is super odd and makes no sense because I love writing and often it’s a stress reliever?? It wasn’t always this bad, but now?? I’m very confused and annoyed. There’s really no point to this post beside me letting this out and hopefully finding a few people who go through this as well?? Because help??
I do think it probably has something to do with my anxiety and insecurities, but I have no idea WHY. Like if they could tell me what’s going on that’d be great thanks
I AM going to try and write. Not just because it’s Camp NaNo, but because I really want to write and finish my unnamed contemporary. But it feels like I’ll keep this feeling, at least for now, and uh I’d like to not feel like I’m about to have a panic attack over something I love to do thanks
Does someone wants to come with me and beat up my anxiety. We could make it a group outing and just beat up everyone’s anxiety it will be fun
Can you relate to this???? Or do you relate to not writing a lot in general despite loving it? Let me know in the comments!