Get To Know Me Tag

Thank you Carrianne for tagging me! Sorry it took me almost three months but better late than never right? Also check out her blog if you haven’t yet!

VITAL STATS

Name: Michelle
Nicknames: Mies (pronounce like me but with an ‘s’ behind it), Michel (my name is actually pronounced Me – shel – luh in Dutch so Me – shel is a nickname), Michellebean, Michellama, Robin, Mochelle, Mimi
Birthday: June sixth
Star Sign: Gemini
Occupation: ‘Blikopener’ at Stedelijk Museum and journalism student

 


APPEARANCE

Hair Color: Brown
Hair Length: Uuuh long. I’m not sure how long. I should get a hair cut since I can’t do much with it right now as it’s very heavy
Eye Color: Brown
Best Feature: Uh I like my eyes and my hair when it looks the way I want it too lmao
Braces: Not anymore hallelujah!
Piercings: None
Tattoos: None
Right or Left: Right


FIRSTS

Real Holiday: Before my parents split up we went on a lot of holidays, so my first real holiday was when I was a baby so?? I have no idea. I could go with my earliest memory but I’m not sure which one of the earlier holidays that I remember would be my first haha
Best Friend: I think it was a boy in kindergarten?
Award: I don’t know if it was the first but I remember winning a tennis price at some point (I’m still shook I was in the top 3 like how)
Sport: I guess swimming, but if we’re talking about a sport that I actually chose and not one I had to do because otherwise I’d drown, tennis
Concert: I think it was a concert of this Dutch group called Chipz (yes that was their actual name) in which other Dutch artists also performed?


FAVORITES

TV Show(s): Shadowhunters, BBC Class, Jane the Virgin, Brooklyn Nine Nine, One Day At A Time, The Fosters, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Doctor Who
Color: Right now I’m obsessed with yellow
Song: I have so many! Lately I’ve been obsessed with Running Home To You from The Flash though (seriously thank you Barry Allen for raising my relationship expectations so unrealistically high) also Free Somebody from Luna
Restaurant: A-Fusion oh my I really need to do a Blogsterdam post on this restaurant it has amazing food
Shop: American Book Center, Waterstones and PopCult
Books: Harry Potter, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Percy Jackson, Heroes of Olympus, The Lunar Chronicles, Timekeeper, Carry On and Fangirl to name a few
Shoes: Doctor Martens


CURRENTLY

Feeling: Quite relaxed actually? Which is a first in weeks lmao (by the time this goes up I doubt I’ll still feel that way)
Single or Taken: Single
Eating: Nothing (I know I’m shocked too) (though when this goes up I might be eating something, who knows)
Thinking About: What an amazing and iconic song Free Somebody is (as I’m listening to it right now
Watching: Well, right now this screen
Wearing: A pig onesie and it’s hella comfy (while I’m writing this, when this goes up I’ll be at school and I sadly won’t be in my pig onesie)


FUTURE

Want Children: I don’t think so
Want To Be Married: If I meet the right person
Careers In Mind: Writer and journalist
Where You Want To Live: Probably want to stay in Amsterdam (definitely not going to a different Dutch city)


DO YOU BELIEVE IN

God: No. I don’t know if I’d call myself an atheist or agnost, I’m not quite sure yet
Miracles: Yes.
Love At First Sight: Not really. I guess you can develop a crush on first sight, but actual love? Nah
Ghosts: Yes. I firmly believe in ghosts
Aliens: The universe is so big we can’t be the only ones in it
Soul Mates: I like to! I believe in several soul mates though, and not just romantic but platonic as well
Heaven: Maybe? I dunno
Hell: I dunno
Kissing On The First Date: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it if all the people involved want to
Yourself: Hahahaha I really should more I guess


I TAG

Tiana | Salmah | Shouni

Don’t feel obligated to do this!

Also here’s Free Somebody because I want to share it with all of you and hopefully introduce you to your new favourite song:

Tell me some stuff about you guys! Do you believe in aliens? What is your favourite song? Let me know in the comments!

What I’ve Been Up To | Recap

Ah guys this feels so weird. My last post wasn’t even that long ago, but?? It sure feels that way? And I posted quite regularly in February too (at least more regularly than I expected) but this sure feels foreign.

I’m not going to go ‘YAY I’M BACK’ because? I don’t think I am? I definitely want to be back and I am for now, but the new term starts next week and I don’t even dare to hope to have time and energy to blog lmao.

So what have I been up to since my last wrap up in January? (well technically it was in February but I wrapped up January so…)

SCHOOL

Can we take a look at this quote from my January wrap up:

I’m more excited about this term, since most of the classes seem more fun

*cue maniacal laughter because boy was I wrong* I had one class on politics which was fun, really! But the other two? Advanced research could have been fun, but we had the worst teacher (I kind of wrecked her in the evaluation and I feel a bit bad but?? This is my education we’re talking about and she didn’t know shit??) so that ruined it. Then in the other class we made radio and tv broadcasts and looking back I guess it was fun, but I was so stressed that I couldn’t enjoy it at all. We had deadlines every week and since I’m not that confident in my skills I felt very pressured and  just uggh. I’ve dealt with a stomach ache due to stress throughout the entire term. Not fun. At least I had my friend by my side! Seriously I wouldn’t have wanted to go to school if it hadn’t been for her

One more term left! I definitely need that Summer break

WORK

I’ve mentioned before that I work at the Stedelijk Museum here in Amsterdam which has been fun. There has been some openings for new exhibitions, we went on a gallery tour (which gave me inspiration for a new Blogsterdam post that at this rate will be up in about five years lmao why did I ever think a monthly feature was doable), we had dinner at someone’s house and just had a good time. It’s been a lot of fun.

BUSTED

Okay so I don’t know if I ever mentioned this, but I’ve been a big fan of Busted for years, but by the time I became a fan they had already broken up, so I didn’t think I’d ever get to see them live. BUT THEN THEY GOT BACK TOGETHER AND THEY CAME TO AMSTERDAM AND I DIED. The end.

No but seriously they were amazing and so much fun (so many space cake jokes omg). I’m so happy I got to see them live.

HARRY POTTER THE EXHIBITION

I won’t go into too many details as I’m still planning on doing a separate post (hopefully I’ll actually get to that yikes) but I’m so happy it finally came to The Netherlands! It was a lot fun and I definitely recommend all Dutchies to go (unless you don’t like Harry Potter. In that case I guess you shouldn’t go)

This basically sums it up. I do feel like I’ve forgotten something, but mostly school took over my life. As usual *sighs* BUT. I still enjoy studying journalism, no worries. Also I just realised I still need to wrap up… two months. Ay that ain’t that bad (not as bad as I thought anyway). So get ready for a wrap up (which won’t be that long considering I barely posted and read anything lol)

WHAT HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN UP TO?! WHAT HAVE I MISSED?! Any blog posts you wrote you think I should read? Let me know in the comments!

A – Z About Me

Thank you Ugnė for tagging me and sorry that it took me like a year to do this! Let’s get to know me better through the alphabet

A – Age: 19, for now. I’ll be twenty in June and I’m not ready #foreverkidatheartthough #peterpanseriouslydudewhereareyou #youdidn’tcomethroughtwoyearsago #nowsyourchance

B – Book I’m currently reading: Since I’m scheduling this I’m not sure what I’ll be reading by the time this goes up, but right now as I’m writing this I’m reading Les Miserables and Unicorn Tracks by Julia Ember

C – Chore you hate: Hmm making my grandfathers bed. His sheets are too small for his mattress so it’s super annoying how does my mom do it

D – Desert you love: 

E –  Essential start your day item: tea. Other people need coffee to function, I need tea

F – Favourite author/book: Harry Potter and The Perks of Being a Wallflower (this sounds like a Harry Potter book haha). Favourite author is probably Rick Riordan (his books come close to being my favourite books as well)

G – Gold or silver: Silver

H – Height: uuuh I have no idea around 1.70 meters

I – Instruments you play: keyboard

of my laptop lmao I’m not musically talented AT ALL

J – Job title: student and Blikopener (I work at the Stedelijk Museum here in Amsterdam as a ‘Blikopener’. Blikopeners are a group of teens between 15 and 19 who try to get other youth interested in art and help with workshops, events etc.)

K – Kids: me, myself and I

L – Living Arrangements: with my mom

M – Most overused word/phrase in your vocabulary: ooooh. Oh there you go there’s my answer. Just realised that ooooh is one I use a lot. Also awww

N – Nicknames: Mies, Michel, Robin, Mochelle, Michellama, Michellebean, Mimi

If you’re wondering about Robin, it’s because my friend is Batman

O – Overnight Hospital stay other than birth: hmm I don’t think so? I broke my wrist when I was five or something, but I don’t think I stayed overnight at the hospital back then

P – Pet peeve: hahahaha so many I’m a bitter old lady

Q – Quotes I like: so many! I’m a sucker for quotes. Today I’ll be going with:

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” ― Oscar Wilde

R – Right or left-handed: Right

S – Siblings: a halfbrother

T – Time you woke up today: around nine I think

U – Unique thing about you: um I dunno? We’re all individuals so we’re all unique *nods* *my attempt at being wise and deep*

V – Vegetable you love: umm I dunno brocolli?

X – X-Rays you’ve had: I don’t know how many they took but I assume I had X-Rays when I broke my wrist

Y – Yummy food you make: uuuuh cookies?

Z – Zodiac sign: Gemini

So that was the A – Z About Me Tag! I shall tag: Marie | Eve | Evi

Don’t feel obligated to do this!

So tell me something about you guys. What are your nicknames? What makes you unique? Do you play an instrument? Let me know in the comments!

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Announcement About Tags

Okay, so I should’ve done this ages ago, but part of me just didn’t want to. See, I have a lot of tags to catch up on, and let’s be real here I’m never going to be able to catch up on all of them. So unfortunately I’ve decided that if I’ve already done a tag (especially more than twice) I likely won’t do it anymore. I didn’t really want to announce this, as I’ll kindly explain it when people tag me, but since I’ve already been tagged multiple times in tags I’ve already done, I wanted to explain it in a post anyway to all the people who tagged me in those tags. I’m really, really happy you guys tagged me and thought of me and I really wish I could do them (I really like doing them too!) but the ammount of tags I have to do is stressing me out. Plus, doing the same tags over and over again might not be that interesting to read? I don’t know, but I don’t want to bore you guys.

I really hope this doesn’t sound bitchy or ungrateful or anything. I love being tagged, I really do, but can’t keep up and I’d rather do tags I haven’t done yet. I hope you guys understand <3

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Hiatus?

I really wish I weren’t writing this post right now, but I don’t want to disappear again without saying a word. I’m not going to go on a full-on hiatus. I will still try to post here and then, especially reviews since I need to get those up, but only one week of this term has passed and I’m already busy and stressed, so I have a feeling I’m going to disappear again. Maybe I’ll have things under control next week and I’ll be able to post, maybe not, I just wanted to let you guys know that if I do disappear, it won’t be forever and that I’ll definitely be back (5 more weeks until Christmas holidays bless! So if I don’t post before that, I’ll definitely post during those weeks and hopefully I can finally schedule some posts).

Guess Who’s Back Back Again

Welp it’s been a really long time since I typed up a post. You may have not really noticed my absence since I had a few posts scheduled (so many tags I’m sorry guys I didn’t mean for that to happen, I wanted to schedule more non-tags posts but…), but in reality I’ve been gone since my last wrap up which was… September 11th woah. Almost two months ago. I have to admit I didn’t even really miss blogging, because I just didn’t have the time to miss it? I was so busy, exhausted and stressed that blogging wasn’t even on my mind.

My first term of my second year has ended though! Well not officially, but I’ve got all the work done and now I have a week off (with the exception of Friday, but that’s only for an hour). I originally planned to try and schedule as much posts as possible, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to do that since I also really need to rest. We’ll see what happens though.

Anyway, two months wow. What happened during that time? Well, I went to London and saw The Cursed Child! Obviously I’ll be blogging about that. And apart from that I’ve just been busy with school work and stressing. Oh and work! I mentioned in my last wrap up that I got a job at the Stedelijk Museum and it’s been a lot of fun. We’ve already had two events and especially Museum Night last Saturday was a lot of fun.

Also I’m obsessed with Class. I think I’ll do a post on it soon because everyone needs to watch that show it’s brilliant.

Oooh and for my blog for uni I interviewed someone from the Boekenkrant, which is a newspaper/magazine about books here in The Netherlands and now I voluntarily write for them! I don’t know how often it will be yet, but I’m reading and reviewing a book for them this week. Even if it’s just this once I’m already super excited haha.

But enough about me! I’ve missed all of you so much. What have you been up to? Hopefully I’ll be able to catch up on your blogs as well. Argh there’s so much to doooo. I really hope next term will be a little less busy.

Seriously though, how is everyone?

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I Want To Be ‘Honest’ With You Guys

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t always feel well mentally, but I’ve never really went into details. Not because I don’t trust you guys or feel ashamed or anything like that, but because I don’t want to bother you guys with it or something like that. Yesterday when I was at my psychologist’s I made up my mind. I wanted to talk to you guys, because I know I’m not alone and I want YOU to know that as well. ‘Honest’ sounded a bit weird, because I haven’t been lying. I’ve told you a few times that I hadn’t been feeling well (always afterwards), but it still feels like I’m not completely honest even though I’m not lying. So here goes.

I have PTSD. I have known that for a few months now, though I’ve had it for years. I didn’t want to go to a psychologist or anything because I just didn’t feel comfortable talking about, well, everything. At the start of last school year I had a talk with my SLB’er, which is sort of like a homeroom teacher. We were talking about what I had been through and how that affected me, also in my schoolwork. I didn’t tell her all the details, just a short summary that didn’t cover it at all. She suggested I’d see a psychologist, and ever since then I started to think about it. So last Spring I took the first step by talking to my doctor about it and some time later I had my first appointment, where I was diagnosed with PTSD. While it was scary, I also felt relieved. Because what my psychologist was telling me made sense. There was a name for what I was going through.

While I didn’t know I had PTSD, I did know I had something. I’ve been having panic attacks for years, there have been quite a few days where I just felt empty (which happened this week, which I put as ‘not feeling well’ because honestly I don’t know how to describe how I feel on those days), I have anxiety to the point that I avoid a lot of things and get panic attacks over small things that a lot of people will probably find silly, and God knows what else. Honestly, it’s such a part of my daily life that I don’t even realise if something is not ‘mentally healthy’. I’m basically often a ball of nerves (and that’s lightly put), even now that I’m writing this when yesterday I felt pretty sure about writing this post.

So there are days when I’ll avoid social media that involves talking, I won’t respond to your comments or tweets, I won’t read your blogposts etc. because I’m just avoiding having to talk. So if I ever sort of disappear, don’t think I’m ignoring you. I’m NEVER ignoring any of you, because I love you guys so much and I love talking to you, but on those days? I don’t even want to talk to my mom.

This is still a short version. One day I hope to tell you guys everything, but I’m still not comfortable with that. I’m already amazed that I actually typed all this and that I’m about to click the ‘publish’ button. I just didn’t want to ‘lie’ anymore and be as open as I can be with you guys, and let you understand that sometimes I just need to take a step back from the blogging community (and make sure that you don’t think I’m ignoring you). So that’s part of my story. While I’m still nervous about posting this, it also feels good to have it ‘out in the open’.

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