When You Come Back From Hiatus But Then Basically Go On Another One djbshgs

I didn’t mean to?? And I don’t even really see it as a hiatus?? It’s just that I have barely any energy??

So in surprise to no one that knows me and my work ethic, I have a burn-out!!

I think it was about two weeks ago when I realised things were really not going well. Problem is that with my anxiety and PTSD I just didn’t realise that things were really escalating?? I’m so used to all the stress, palpitations, crying and all that fun stuff that it took me a really long time to realise that this wasn’t just the usual anxiety. So for now I decided to take a break from school and focus on my health. While I also wanna do lots of fun stuff (including blogging) I just don’t have much energy? So we’ll see what happens. I’ll blog when I feel like it, which hopefully will be kinda regularly? But I have no clue.

What a great way to end 2018!

Speaking of which, I will do wrap up posts! I just don’t know when. I think I was kinda late last year as well? Meaning I posted them this year?* sjajfg

* I looked it up it was in February dskng

So now you know why I once again disappeared. Hopefully I’ll be able to post again soon, or at least read some of your posts, because I really want to! Though I also kinda don’t because I’m just so exhausted. Don’t follow in my footsteps kids this ain’t it

So how are you all doing? Ready for 2019? Isn’t it weird how all of a sudden it’s almost 2019? (or maybe it’s already 2019 for you??) This year was so weird time-wise?? What even was this year

Hi I’m Alive!! // What I’ve Been Up To

I have a feeling I always use this gif when I come back from an unplanned hiatus? But it perfectly represents how I feel so it’s not like I’m being unoriginal. Just imagine me exactly like this. I’m even wearing Stitch jammies so it’s perfect.

SO YES HI I’M ALIVE.

Sorta. Barely? I’m getting there. While I’ve posted two reviews after Summer ended, I’ve mostly been MIA on here because, well, I’ve been busy and very exhausted to the point I got sick a few times. Fun times. But I’m back now? I’m going to take it easy, as I haven’t completely recovered plus I now have to do freelance work for school (I have to fill 200 hours!! Fun!! Can you hear me screaming!! I’m already so stressed again!!) so I don’t know how active I’ll really be, but we’ll see! I’ve really missed blogging and all of you so I really do want to be active more again, but I also have to think about my health and make sure I fill my hours.

Anyway, what have I been up to these past few months?

💛 I completed my internship! I did my internship at an art magazine and learned so much. Before this year I never realised I could pursue this interest in journalism, but now I know it’s one of the fields I’m interested in.

💛 I MET AND HUGGED HAYLEY KIYOKO AND I’M STILL NOT OVER IT 😭 Also her concert was amazing it was so much fun and filled with so much love and just?? The energy of everyone in the room singing (let’s be real more like yelling sdkjg) along to Girls Like Girls?? Iconic

💛 I also saw Janelle Monáe live and?? She’s so talented and underrated?? She put on a show as if she was performing at a stadium instead of a small stage?? Who even thought of giving her such a small stage like that she deserves better. Though on the other hand now I got to see her up close so I guess I’m also not complaning??

💛 Got to dress up as a Hufflepuff at work and got mistaken for Harry Potter multiple times like yes I’m wearing a pointy hat and a cape, and yes I’m waving a wand around and YES I know have the same glasses but I’m not Harry!! I don’t have a scar!! And he’s a Gryffindor!!

💛 I opened the door for some customers and went ‘Alohomora!!’ and got no reaction

💛 A customer (on a different day) called me suspicious??? I’m still so confused??

💛 I have no clue what else I’ve done?? Mostly I’ve just been busy with my internship and work, as my internship was four days in the week and then most of the time I worked two out of the other three days (one time even all three and I’m pretty sure I died and am now a ghost) So uhhh yeah I’ve pretty much been overworking myself rip

💛 Oh I actually got a library card for the first time in years! There’s a deal going on that you can get one for free with a Stadspas (literally: Citypass. You get one if you have a low income) and I ain’t saying no to that. I’ve also since learned that nowadays the library actually has quite a few books I’m interested in?? Including new releases?? I was shook.

So that’s it I think? I’m sure I had more to tell you guys but who knows maybe it will come up in future posts. I’m hoping to do a reading wrap up sometime soon about all the books I read, because surprisingly I’ve been reading quite a bit? Usually when I’m this busy I don’t read (except comics).

So what have you all been up to? Any posts that I HAVE to read? Let me know in the comments!

A Not So Quick Update From Manchester: I Continue To Be A Cryptid

Sooo things didn’t exactly go as planned. It’s February and I haven’t wrapped up anything 2017 related, I’m pretty sure I’ve missed three monthly wrap ups and while I wanted to write at least weekly posts about Manchester I uh failed that too

I’ve been busy adjusting, exploring Manchester, my best friend stayed with me for a week, I was busy watching Netflix, and uh got caught up in trying to figure out my family tree, something I’ve tried to do multiple times over the years but I never got that far. Meaning I didn’t get anywhere. I’ve decided to put things on hold as it was giving me quite a headache to get farther as I hit a bump in the road. Of course at the point which I’ve been most curious about pretty much my entire life, namely my great great great (? I’m terrible at ‘great great great’ stuff it’s so confusing) grandmother who was Indonesian. Of course that makes it a lil bit harder to find stuff out because ya know colonisation. But hey at least I found out what my great grandfather was called, something my grandfather didn’t know as he just always referred to him as ‘opa’ (which is Dutch for grandfather) so at least I could tell my grandfather what his grandfather was called. I’ll try to find out more when I get back home.

I’ve been slowly getting back into blogging (I’ve been reading a few blog posts!!) and I’m starting to get excited about blogging again, so hopefully I’ll be able to write some posts soon (I do have a review coming up for an ARC so I felt enough pressure to get started on that)

So with those excuses out of the way, let’s hope I won’t disappear again after this lol If I do I’m just gonna pretend that didn’t happen okay? Just pretend with me I don’t want to write a post like this every few weeks haha

Some other things I did/happened to me I want to share:

💛 I cut my finger open on a box of washing powder, got a piece of my phone’s screen protector stuck in my thumb and my other thumb started bleeding randomly MY FINGERS ARE NOT SAFE
💛 For the first time in what’s probably three years I’m borrowing books from a library?? It’s been even longer that I actually borrowed books that I actually wanted to read. The uni library doesn’t have THAT much fiction I want to read but it’s something and I feel so blessed is this how American bookworms feel
💛 Today was the first time I saw one of my housemates in like,, 2 weeks
💛 So basically I’m continuing to be a cryptid*
💛 In my defense my social anxiety just gets a lil bit too bad to go out in the kitchen/living room while there are people there, especially more than one
💛 But other than the usual (social) anxiety that honestly should’ve been expected but I didn’t really think about before coming here (which is a good thing because I might not have gone if I had) I think I’m doing pretty okay? I’ve gotten adjusted to things, gotten my routine and am less homesick
💛 My friend and I went to the refresher’s fair mostly because we were promised free pizza but we got one tiny slice #betrayed
💛 I uh… I bought more plushies *hides*
💛 I will show them in their respective posts (well, one of them hasn’t arrived yet) but hint: it’s Stitch dressed as the Easter Bunny and a super cute Dobby**
💛 The fire alarm goes off pretty much every week and lemme tell you it is not fun I get a panic attack everytime and apparently fire alarms are now a trigger for me because I had to mute B99 when the fire alarm went off on there!!
💛 Speaking of B99 have I mentioned before how grateful I am for this show it does wonders for my mental health really as most of the time it can make me feel better so guess who’s rewatching
💛 I found my precious seaweed rice crackers at a supermarket in Chinatown, gasped and started to whisper sing ‘Hallelujah’ – I really hope the guy behind the counter didn’t notice
💛 I’m still not cooking because the kitchen is still gross but I cleaned the oven (which was also gross!!) so at least I can get oven meals like quiche and spring rolls
💛 I also finally caved and became Cinderella and vacuumed the hallway, kitchen and living room because I couldn’t stand it any longer
💛 Today I suddenly heard someone vacuum the hallway??? It wasn’t me?? Shook

*  I just realised that I’ve kind of been a cryptid in the blogosphere as well *mind blown*
** I mean obviously Dobby is always cute but have you seen the official Dobby plush?? I’m sorry but no

Wow that list was a lot longer than I expected. Anyway, I’m going to Oxford tomorrow with my friend through the International Society, so hopefully I won’t be too tired on Sunday so that I can write a few posts, as I really really want to

How have you all been?? Any exciting news?? Posts you’re proud of that I MUST read? (Please give links!) Tell me everything!!

Greetings From Manchester!

You may have noticed that I… kind of disappeared. I didn’t mean for that to happen – I suddenly got so busy with my last preparations for Manchester, the holidays, seeing friends before I left, work… that I just didn’t have the time and energy to blog.

Anyway, hopefully I’ll be able to blog more regularly again now that *drum roll*

I’m in Manchester!

Above you see an accurate representation of me right now

I’m also feeling very much like Cath from Fangirl because by now two out of three of my housemates have arrived* and after briefly talking to them I was like ‘I’m going to my room I gotta pee’ and now I’m just,, hiding here. I thought Cath was relatable back when I read Fangirl three years ago but now?? I’m just glad I already ate and have food and water in my room lmao

Speaking of my room! I really like it. I’d show you pictures but,, the pictures I have on my phone were for family and friends and show some private stuff. Maybe I’ll take some soon, but right now I’m just tired.

We’ve had two introduction days for international students which were helpful and nice and I just went to the center with another international student, but everything is kinda overwhelming and my socially anxious** is not helping. I can’t wait to get used to everything here. I might get into more details in a possible weekly wrap up? I don’t know – I still need to do some end of year posts as well which I didn’t get around to in 2017- I JUST REALISED I HAVEN’T WISHED YOU ALL A HAPPY NEW YEAR YET***

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! I hope 2018 will be a good one

Anyway, I’ll try to get back into the blogging sphere**** but right now I need to get adjusted to everything and I just don’t really feel like blogging yet. Hope you’re all doing great and that’s 2018 been a good one so far ❤️

* or maybe one?? After a while one of them said something like ‘good luck with term’ and then I heard a door so… I’m not sure I may have misunderstood when he pointed and said ‘I live there’
** and regularly anxious lmao gotta love that anxiety
*** can you tell I’m stressed and disorganised lmao
**** I’ve been saying this a lot lately haven’t I

How have you all been?! Any posts that I missed that I HAVE to read? (cause as much as I like to tell myself I can read all the missed posts – I can’t) How’s 2018 going so far? (Or you know, as our Queen and Saviour Hayley Kiyoko called it, 20gayteen) Let me know in the comments!

Guess Who’s Back + Where I’ve Been | Life Update

Soooo I didn’t mean to disappear like that? Of course I hadn’t been blogging as regularly as I would’ve liked once I ran out of scheduled posts, but at least I got one or two posts up per week until…

School suddenly got very, very hectic. I was busy at the start of term, but I was still able to blog here and there and read some blogposts. Then we got to the point where we had to rely more on each other and the real group work began… And half our group didn’t do anything or did such terrible work that it was obvious they expected others to fix it for them. It was incredibly stressful and gave me a lot of sleepless nights, and now that it’s finally over I’ve of course come down with a cold. My friend and I emailed our teacher in detail about our group, and she said that the group members who didn’t do their shit are going to notice it in their grades. I’m so relieved to see her taking it seriously and even thanking us for our email. I was really worried that she was going to have a ‘not my problem’ attitude.

Anyway, this term is over!

I am proud of the magazine we made, even though I know it could’ve been better. Considering all our setbacks and that half of our group didn’t take it seriously at all, we really did a good job.

So now what? Well…

I’m taking a break from school

Honestly if I were to go back in time and tell secondary school me that at some point I’d take a break from college she wouldn’t believe me. Thing is, because I’m starting my term abroad earlier than I was initially told, I actually can’t follow any classes this term, because that would only be six weeks. I had signed up for a course last year when planning my year, but after lots of emailing back and forth with different teachers, it turned out I couldn’t do a big part of the course this term. I could’ve followed the more theoretical classes, but I didn’t want to take the exams while in Manchester since I would be really busy with my classes over there, so I’d have to take them when I’m back anyway. I figured there’d be no point in taking part of the course now, so I’m instead taking it when I get back from Manchester.

I’m actually more than fine with this break – my year is generally still the same as I had initially planned, just a slightly different order and my stay abroad will be shorter (I’ve talked about this before, but since I’m going to England I’ll be there for three months while other people will be studying abroad for five). So at least I won’t have any delay in my studies.

I pretty much had a burnout last school year and once this one started I was actually not ready to go back yet, so this break is actually very welcome. Especially after the second half of last term.

Basically this means that I’ll be able to blog regularly again! I might have to try and find my footing first, since I’m kind of out of my rhythm again and like I mentioned I have a cold, but I hope to at least post once a week again.

What else have I been up to?

💛 I got new glasses!

My previous glasses were super comfortable and gave me horrible headaches, so I barely wore them and always wore my contacts, but it was really annoying in the morning as I had to quickly put in my contacts before I got a headache and technically you need to take your contacts out about an hour before you go to sleep, which I never did anymore woops. I really love my new glasses – they’re cute and so comfortable!
💛 I’ve worked quite a bit at the museum – like during Museum Night, which is an annual event in multiple cities (though not at the same time) during which museums throughout the city are open until 2 AM. There’s lots to do (workshops, panel discussions, dancing, watching the art itself of course) and our Museum Night had a Keith Haring/80’s theme. It was a lot of fun and I’m really proud of what we accomplished
💛 My cousin turned eight and he had a Moana cake!! And he continuously said that he loved the movie!!
💛 My mom, aunt, cousin (another one) and I went to a collector’s fair – it was fun but there were also quite a few people just selling trash for a high price? I also find it hilarious to see what kind of stuff people collect – that stuff was so normal back in the day. It’s like if I were to keep a Coca Cola bottle for 40+ years and then try to sell it for 20+ euros lmao*
💛 I watched Lemonade Mouth and fell in love please watch that movie it’s amazing. The moment it ended I wanted to watch it again which barely ever happens 
💛 I decided to treat myself and finally buy Disney Magical World 2 – if you’re not familiar with that gaming franchise: it’s amazing. It’s a bit like Animal Crossing but with Disney and an RPG element. It’s really cute, fun and relaxing. Must have for every Disney fan. Anyway I’m a bit obsessed – oops
💛 There’s probably other stuff I’d mention but… I don’t remember any of it

* Guys I’m onto something here we should all start to collect our trash so we can sell it in 40+ years

So that’s where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to. I’m hoping to post again soon sometime this week and to read some of your posts, but we’ll see how it goes with this stupid cold.

How have all of you been??? Tell me everything. How’s school/work going? Done anything fun? Read anything good? Or read something that I should stay far away from? Any posts I’ve missed that you’re particularly proud of? Let me know in the comments!

The Little Engine Tag | Another Late Tag What Else is New

Remember when I did a tag that I was tagged for in 2015. Well this time the tag’s from 2016 so that’s slightly better! Evi tagged me to do The Little Engine Tag – thank you and sorry it took me so long haha. Go check out her blog if you haven’t yet

RULES:

  1. Each answer you give to a question has to be more than two sentences long. Or at the very least, you have to make those two sentences meaningful.
  2. There will be two bonus questions at the end, that the blogger gets to change to whatever they want to ask when they nominate someone else. The first six questions, however, are set in stone.
  3. At the end you must nominate three to five other bloggers. Okay, so you don’t have to, but that would be nice if you could.

QUESTIONS

1.) What’s one of your biggest pet peeves?

I have so many pet peeves yet whenever I get this question I just?? Forget all my pet peeves?? OH I GOT ONE. WHEN BUS DRIVERS DRIVE RECKLESSLY LIKE THANKS FOR THE BRUISE MATE

Also thanks for the mild concussion last year

2) What is your favorite song at the moment?

As I’m writing this: Space Between from Descendants 2. At first I was like: I CAN’T CHOOSE A FAVOURITE SONG FROM THE SOUNDTRACK THEY’RE ALL SO GOOD

But then I realised that of course my favourite is the Gay Song ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

3) Who is your favorite blogger?

Oh my gosh I love all of you this is such a cruel question. I mean I do have my favourites, but I always feel so guilty? Because what if I forget someone? And even when I don’t forget someone, I don’t want anyone to think I don’t love them and their blog aaahhh. So I’ll only do a shoutout to the awesome person who tagged me: Evi. Love you and your blog <3 Again, go check out her blog (and follow it *cough*) if you haven’t yet!

4) What’s the nicest thing you’ve seen someone do recently?

Shoutout to my best friend Batman (that’s not her real name sadly) for being an awesome, awesome friend. She’s super understanding, caring and helpful and I’m just so grateful that I met her this school year <3 Like she’s so understanding when it comes to my PTSD and we always help each other with schoolwork and just.. What did I do to deserve her?

Also she’s incredibly funny and shares my weird sense of humour

5) What’s something you regret doing?

Uhhh oh boy I have regrets, that’s for sure. But I can’t think of any right now?? I do regret not properly taking care of myself as I’m typing this I need to drink more guys

Let’s fix that regret immediatley haha

6) If you could take only three items with you to a deserted island, what would they be and why?

Is there reception and wifi? Because if so I’d take my phone so I can call for help – wait wait wait. This question sounds like I’m knowingly and voluntarily going? Meaning I can leave whenever I want? Cause if that’s the case: camera, phone (just in case I do need to call for help plus while I’m not fond of ebooks I do still have a bunch of unread ones on there so win-win) and a notebook. Wait no how would I write in my notebook, I’d need a pen. I’d bring my laptop, but what if it dies. Damn this question is harder than I thought (also maybe because I’m overthinking it lmao)

Bonus question time!

7) If you could, right now, paint your house any color, what would it be and why?

Oooh I don’t know if our house would look good in any other colours haha? Maybe I’d paint the window sills? My mom and I never really liked the bright yellow, but then again it has been growing on me…

8) What is your ideal pet?

If you know me, then this won’t come as a surprise: A PUG

If you’re new and don’t know me: Hi I’m Michelle and I’m obsessed with these beautiful animals

I TAG

Because I’m lazy I’m just going to tag everyone who wants to do this.

What colour would you paint your house? Your biggest pet peeves? And what’s your ideal pet? Let me know in the comments!

BewarenBewarenBewarenBewaren

Studying Journalism With an Anxiety Disorder

This past school year I’ve been really struggling about whether or not I had made the right choice. I really loved my first year, and I had good grades. For the most part I continued to get good grades, and I had gotten positive feedback on my writing, but I still really, really worried if journalism was for me after all.

Studying itself gives me a lot of stress and anxiety, but on top of that having to call people, arrange interviews, doing the interviews themselves etc. I’ve gotten used to it, sort of, but the anxiety I feel before calling people and before the interviews themselves, has never gone away. And I feared that it never will.

My main character from my current WIP also has anxiety and is considering studying journalism, but is afraid his anxiety will get in the way. While I wondered this as well before making my decision, I wasn’t struggling with it as much as Yong-sun is in his senior year. I’m struggling with it now, at the brink of my third year. While this also gave me anxiety, it also really, really helped me. Because I decided to google ‘anxiety and journalism’. Which I could’ve done without writing about Yong-sun, but I didn’t think of it. I didn’t think of looking up journalists who also have an anxiety-disorder. Reading articles from journalists who face the same problems I do, really, really helped me. Am I still scared? You bet ya

But if other journalists can do it, then maybe I can do it too

Are you worried that your anxiety will get in the way of your goals? Has your writing/characters ever helped you in a moment like this? Let me know in the comments!