A – Z About Me

Thank you Ugnė for tagging me and sorry that it took me like a year to do this! Let’s get to know me better through the alphabet

A – Age: 19, for now. I’ll be twenty in June and I’m not ready #foreverkidatheartthough #peterpanseriouslydudewhereareyou #youdidn’tcomethroughtwoyearsago #nowsyourchance

B – Book I’m currently reading: Since I’m scheduling this I’m not sure what I’ll be reading by the time this goes up, but right now as I’m writing this I’m reading Les Miserables and Unicorn Tracks by Julia Ember

C – Chore you hate: Hmm making my grandfathers bed. His sheets are too small for his mattress so it’s super annoying how does my mom do it

D – Desert you love: 

E –  Essential start your day item: tea. Other people need coffee to function, I need tea

F – Favourite author/book: Harry Potter and The Perks of Being a Wallflower (this sounds like a Harry Potter book haha). Favourite author is probably Rick Riordan (his books come close to being my favourite books as well)

G – Gold or silver: Silver

H – Height: uuuh I have no idea around 1.70 meters

I – Instruments you play: keyboard

of my laptop lmao I’m not musically talented AT ALL

J – Job title: student and Blikopener (I work at the Stedelijk Museum here in Amsterdam as a ‘Blikopener’. Blikopeners are a group of teens between 15 and 19 who try to get other youth interested in art and help with workshops, events etc.)

K – Kids: me, myself and I

L – Living Arrangements: with my mom

M – Most overused word/phrase in your vocabulary: ooooh. Oh there you go there’s my answer. Just realised that ooooh is one I use a lot. Also awww

N – Nicknames: Mies, Michel, Robin, Mochelle, Michellama, Michellebean, Mimi

If you’re wondering about Robin, it’s because my friend is Batman

O – Overnight Hospital stay other than birth: hmm I don’t think so? I broke my wrist when I was five or something, but I don’t think I stayed overnight at the hospital back then

P – Pet peeve: hahahaha so many I’m a bitter old lady

Q – Quotes I like: so many! I’m a sucker for quotes. Today I’ll be going with:

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” ― Oscar Wilde

R – Right or left-handed: Right

S – Siblings: a halfbrother

T – Time you woke up today: around nine I think

U – Unique thing about you: um I dunno? We’re all individuals so we’re all unique *nods* *my attempt at being wise and deep*

V – Vegetable you love: umm I dunno brocolli?

X – X-Rays you’ve had: I don’t know how many they took but I assume I had X-Rays when I broke my wrist

Y – Yummy food you make: uuuuh cookies?

Z – Zodiac sign: Gemini

So that was the A – Z About Me Tag! I shall tag: Marie | Eve | Evi

Don’t feel obligated to do this!

So tell me something about you guys. What are your nicknames? What makes you unique? Do you play an instrument? Let me know in the comments!

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Announcement About Tags

Okay, so I should’ve done this ages ago, but part of me just didn’t want to. See, I have a lot of tags to catch up on, and let’s be real here I’m never going to be able to catch up on all of them. So unfortunately I’ve decided that if I’ve already done a tag (especially more than twice) I likely won’t do it anymore. I didn’t really want to announce this, as I’ll kindly explain it when people tag me, but since I’ve already been tagged multiple times in tags I’ve already done, I wanted to explain it in a post anyway to all the people who tagged me in those tags. I’m really, really happy you guys tagged me and thought of me and I really wish I could do them (I really like doing them too!) but the ammount of tags I have to do is stressing me out. Plus, doing the same tags over and over again might not be that interesting to read? I don’t know, but I don’t want to bore you guys.

I really hope this doesn’t sound bitchy or ungrateful or anything. I love being tagged, I really do, but can’t keep up and I’d rather do tags I haven’t done yet. I hope you guys understand <3

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Hiatus?

I really wish I weren’t writing this post right now, but I don’t want to disappear again without saying a word. I’m not going to go on a full-on hiatus. I will still try to post here and then, especially reviews since I need to get those up, but only one week of this term has passed and I’m already busy and stressed, so I have a feeling I’m going to disappear again. Maybe I’ll have things under control next week and I’ll be able to post, maybe not, I just wanted to let you guys know that if I do disappear, it won’t be forever and that I’ll definitely be back (5 more weeks until Christmas holidays bless! So if I don’t post before that, I’ll definitely post during those weeks and hopefully I can finally schedule some posts).

Guess Who’s Back Back Again

Welp it’s been a really long time since I typed up a post. You may have not really noticed my absence since I had a few posts scheduled (so many tags I’m sorry guys I didn’t mean for that to happen, I wanted to schedule more non-tags posts but…), but in reality I’ve been gone since my last wrap up which was… September 11th woah. Almost two months ago. I have to admit I didn’t even really miss blogging, because I just didn’t have the time to miss it? I was so busy, exhausted and stressed that blogging wasn’t even on my mind.

My first term of my second year has ended though! Well not officially, but I’ve got all the work done and now I have a week off (with the exception of Friday, but that’s only for an hour). I originally planned to try and schedule as much posts as possible, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to do that since I also really need to rest. We’ll see what happens though.

Anyway, two months wow. What happened during that time? Well, I went to London and saw The Cursed Child! Obviously I’ll be blogging about that. And apart from that I’ve just been busy with school work and stressing. Oh and work! I mentioned in my last wrap up that I got a job at the Stedelijk Museum and it’s been a lot of fun. We’ve already had two events and especially Museum Night last Saturday was a lot of fun.

Also I’m obsessed with Class. I think I’ll do a post on it soon because everyone needs to watch that show it’s brilliant.

Oooh and for my blog for uni I interviewed someone from the Boekenkrant, which is a newspaper/magazine about books here in The Netherlands and now I voluntarily write for them! I don’t know how often it will be yet, but I’m reading and reviewing a book for them this week. Even if it’s just this once I’m already super excited haha.

But enough about me! I’ve missed all of you so much. What have you been up to? Hopefully I’ll be able to catch up on your blogs as well. Argh there’s so much to doooo. I really hope next term will be a little less busy.

Seriously though, how is everyone?

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I Want To Be ‘Honest’ With You Guys

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t always feel well mentally, but I’ve never really went into details. Not because I don’t trust you guys or feel ashamed or anything like that, but because I don’t want to bother you guys with it or something like that. Yesterday when I was at my psychologist’s I made up my mind. I wanted to talk to you guys, because I know I’m not alone and I want YOU to know that as well. ‘Honest’ sounded a bit weird, because I haven’t been lying. I’ve told you a few times that I hadn’t been feeling well (always afterwards), but it still feels like I’m not completely honest even though I’m not lying. So here goes.

I have PTSD. I have known that for a few months now, though I’ve had it for years. I didn’t want to go to a psychologist or anything because I just didn’t feel comfortable talking about, well, everything. At the start of last school year I had a talk with my SLB’er, which is sort of like a homeroom teacher. We were talking about what I had been through and how that affected me, also in my schoolwork. I didn’t tell her all the details, just a short summary that didn’t cover it at all. She suggested I’d see a psychologist, and ever since then I started to think about it. So last Spring I took the first step by talking to my doctor about it and some time later I had my first appointment, where I was diagnosed with PTSD. While it was scary, I also felt relieved. Because what my psychologist was telling me made sense. There was a name for what I was going through.

While I didn’t know I had PTSD, I did know I had something. I’ve been having panic attacks for years, there have been quite a few days where I just felt empty (which happened this week, which I put as ‘not feeling well’ because honestly I don’t know how to describe how I feel on those days), I have anxiety to the point that I avoid a lot of things and get panic attacks over small things that a lot of people will probably find silly, and God knows what else. Honestly, it’s such a part of my daily life that I don’t even realise if something is not ‘mentally healthy’. I’m basically often a ball of nerves (and that’s lightly put), even now that I’m writing this when yesterday I felt pretty sure about writing this post.

So there are days when I’ll avoid social media that involves talking, I won’t respond to your comments or tweets, I won’t read your blogposts etc. because I’m just avoiding having to talk. So if I ever sort of disappear, don’t think I’m ignoring you. I’m NEVER ignoring any of you, because I love you guys so much and I love talking to you, but on those days? I don’t even want to talk to my mom.

This is still a short version. One day I hope to tell you guys everything, but I’m still not comfortable with that. I’m already amazed that I actually typed all this and that I’m about to click the ‘publish’ button. I just didn’t want to ‘lie’ anymore and be as open as I can be with you guys, and let you understand that sometimes I just need to take a step back from the blogging community (and make sure that you don’t think I’m ignoring you). So that’s part of my story. While I’m still nervous about posting this, it also feels good to have it ‘out in the open’.

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Still Waiting For Peter Pan – Siriusly Dude I’m Less Than A Year Away From Turning 20 This Isn’t Funny Anymore Take Me To Neverland

That title became a lot longer than I intended, but oh well. It’s the truth. I don’t want to turn 20 and no longer be a teenager and be an actual adult and have ‘responsibilities’. I literally dream of buying Tsum Tsums does that sound like a fully functioning adult to you? I don’t think so.

Anyway, my birthday was roughly two weeks ago, but since I was busy with exams and assignments I didn’t write a post about it. Though I did talk about how I celebrated with my family in my update post if you’re interested. Anyway, here are the presents I got:

birthdayhaul

The Tsum Tsum planner is a birthday gift from me for me lol. Not really, but I ordered it along with The Hidden Oracle (yay for people giving me book vouchers!). The books are gifts from my mom, grandfather and my close friend/brother from another mother (I don’t care if that term is cliché haha). The Tsum Tsums were given to me by my mom and a friend of my mom’s. I already had a small Minnie Mouse and a medium one, but apparently there’s another size because this one (and Alice) is slightly bigger than the small one. Plus they blush

I’ve thought of things to write in this birthday post. Like 19 things to do while I’m 19, but honestly, there aren’t any things I want to specifically do while I’m 19. There are the same things I wanted to do when I was still 18 and there are some new things, but those have nothing to do with me turning 19. There are also no ’18 things I learned when I was 18′ because honestly, I didn’t learn much from being 18 lol. My 18th year was a good year and I feel like I’ve grown a lot. I wish I could write some inspiring, beautiful post, but alas earwax (I wasn’t the only one thinking that, right?).

I’m excited for everything that’s to come, but can I stay a teenager please?

wELP

Surely there are some of you out there who feel the same way about growing up right? And to those of you who have already ‘grown up’ (I’m a firm believer of always staying a child at heart), any advice? 

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What I’ve Been Up To

Hey guys! It’s been a while but I’m finally (sort of) back. I still have a sort of presentation on Thursday that I need to prepare for, but hopefully I’m done after that (depends on whether or not I passed everything). So what have I been up to since my last weekly wrap up?

School

The reason why I decided to take a hiatus. I first started the hiatus to focus on my analysis about the Chibok girls who were kidnapped two years ago by Boko Haram. I got a nine (in The Netherlands our grades go from 1 to 10) and my teacher said it was ‘vakwerk’ which means ‘craftsmanship’ so obviously I’m very happy with that. While I was writing it, some girls were thankfully found or rescued, so hopefully soon all girls will be reunited with their families and friends.

I’ve also had other assignments to work on and exams to study for. I don’t have a great feeling about my research exam (which started great because my laptop froze within the first minute – it always works fine but it chose THAT MOMENT to betray me. Thanks laptop), but as my mom said ‘I’ve done my best’ (that doesn’t mean that I’m okay with it, but I shouldn’t get all depressed until I get my grade back). So if it turns out research went well anyway, I’ll be done after my ‘presentation’ this Thursday. It’s not really a presentation, but I don’t know what else to call it haha.

Personal

My days have been a bit of a blur, with only a few moments standing out to me. Two weeks ago my  mom and I went to ‘Totally Stripped’, an event in Paradiso (a music venue), where they showed an old concert from The Rolling Stones. When we got there I noticed a poster with Douwe Bob, so my mom took a picture for me to send to Em, who is a big fan

So I sent this picture to her and we were inside, sitting on some stairs, when my mom suddenly said: ‘Douwe is here’ so I looked up and he was only a few meters away from me, moving in the other direction. At that moment the video was starting, so obviously we didn’t want to bother him. Sadly he left early so there was no opportunity to go ask him for a picture haha. If you want to know more about the story, go read my tweets (tweets from June 2nd, I’ve barely tweeted this month so it shouldn’t be that hard to find if you’re curious haha) about how I was basically stalking him lol (Douwe if you come across this I’m sorry I hope it wasn’t my glancing that made you leave early)

It was also my birthday last week! I can’t believe I’ve been 19 for a full week already. Fun fact: I had to fill in my age somewhere on my birthday and of course I first clicked on 18. Unfortunately I had deadlines on my birthday (thanks teachers), but fortunately I had already finished everything during the weekend. I still had my exams left, but at least I didn’t have to worry about missing a deadline. Because of school I didn’t really get to celebrate it, but my mom and a friend of hers did give me these adorable Tsum Tsums that I’ll share with you later this week along with other birthday gifts. I didn’t feel like blogging all day and now it’s too dark to take proper pictures. We celebrated with family last Saturday, which was fun. At the end of the afternoon I took my nephew to the playground. He wanted me to climb too, but it was hard since I was wearing a dress and flip flops haha.

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Derp.

When I sent that selfie in our family group chat on Whatsapp they all made a selfie and sent one back haha (without my poor grandfather who was on the toilet missing out on all the fun). In the second pic we we were on these small bikes, which I was waaay too big for so when he started to pedal really fast, I almost fell off.

What I’ve Read

In my last weekly wrap up I was still reading Uprooted, which I finally finished this weekend. It took me over a month, and I’m honestly not sure how I feel about it. Hopefully I’ll get around to reviewing it soon. In the meantime I had also started All The What Ifs by Angela Lynn, which was a fun read. The two books I finished after that (Introductions by C.L. Stone and Forever by Eric Marier) were less fun. And right now I’m FINALLY reading The Hidden Oracle. I was still reading Uprooted when it came out, and since I barely had the time or energy to read, I decided to put it off.

Blog

Hopefully I’ll be able to blog quite a lot this week, but I do need to prepare for Thursday (it shouldn’t be that much work – and I’ve done a lot worse in such a short time span this year) and I’m exhausted. I’m full with lots of exciting blog posts ideas and I can’t wait to catch up with you all and stalk your blogs, but I might just rest for a few days, depending on how I’m feeling. I’m already feeling more energetic than yesterday (I was a zombie. Not literally. Don’t worry, my mom’s brains are safe. For now)

So what have you all been up to?! Are you almost done with school? What have you been reading? Any blog posts that I MUST read? Let me know in the comments!

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